i ... ripped apart my world
& glued it back together
badly with 
pieces missing

some kind of horrible 
frankenstein
i thought it looked wrong
before
but now it's really
a disaster

i'm so goddam embarrassed
what would that girl i love say
if she saw my life now

i need to hide
in my head
in some other world
where there are no faces 
& no words

i need a shell that i can
break out of
and start over